All I Ever Needed
by InfinityxInfinity21
Summary: Set after the season 2 finale. Where I wish the show would have gone. Begins with "I'm Amanda Clarke." Jack/Emily Emily/Nolan
1. Chapter 1

_"I'm Amanda Clarke."_

* * *

Jack just stares at me shaking for what seems like five minutes, but in reality I know it was only a few seconds.

I can not help the tears that roll out of my eyes upon seeing the anguish in his. I knew from the minute the words "I'm Amanda Clarke" left my lips that he would never be able to forgive me, but I did not have time to think about the aftermath, I just needed to get him under control and out of there.. fast.

Without giving him enough time to process what I was doing, I snatched the gun out of his hand. It wasn't much of a fight given his current state of shock. He looks down at his empty hands and then back up at me, and that's when I see it. The anger.

Before he can begin yelling and screaming at me, I mumble something about needing to get out of there. I can't even recall what my exact words were. I dismantle the gun with ease, and stuff it in my jacket. My mind switches to escape mode as I quickly begin to plan our exit. Jack stares at me as if I have grown another head.

When I see our escape route, I grab Jack's hand to lead him in the right direction, but he quickly pulls it away. I feel more tears form in my eyes, but as quickly as they appeared, they were gone. I keep moving toward the exit, doing my best to keep my head down. I don't want to be recognized, I just want to escape. I finally reach the door and feel relief, but it's splitting. As soon as my feet hit the pavement and the door is shut, I turn around to see Jack, but what I find stops me in my tracks.

The man standing in front of me isn't the same boy I remember so vividly from my childhood. Not the same boy who used to let me bury him in the sand, not the same boy who would spend an entire afternoon playing dress up with me, just because it made me happy. No, the man standing in front of me was broken. Jack looked like he had aged fifteen years in only a day, and it was killing me.

I sucked in a deep breath. "Jack..." I wanted to explain everything to him. I think about the moment in time that I was willing to tell him everything, to expose myself to him, just to be with him forever, but that dream was quickly shattered when a very pregnant Amanda came back into the picture. "Don't" he says sharply. "Just don't. How...How could I have been so stupid." He's starting to get louder, and I look around nervously. I don't see anyone nearby. "Jack, don't do that to yourself.." I begin to say. "NO" he yells, "Do you have any idea what you have done?!" I look up at him and I feel the tears forming in my eyes again. "What is wrong with you, what happened to.."

I thank God my phone begins to ring, stopping Jack from his tirade. I look at the caller ID..."It's the police station." I say quietly. "I had better take it." Jack throws his hands up in the air and mumbles something under his breath that I don't quite catch. "Hello?" "This is a collect call from Mason Treadwell, press 1 to accept this call." Normally I would ignore it but given the circumstances, I'm happy for the distraction. "What do you want Mason?" I don't have time for pleasantries today, plus he knows better than to contact me. I made sure of it. "Well done, Ms. Thorne. And here I thought I had seen the worse in you." "What are you talking about?" I snap. "Wait you mean...you don't know?" I can hear the smile in his voice. "Mason, I am about five seconds away from hanging up on you." "Okay, okay" he says amusingly. "It's not like I get that much phone time anyway." "One..." I begin to count. "Listen, just turn on the news, because if what I am hearing around the grapevine is true. I think this book is about to get a lot more interesting." "Mason I do not have time for this, just tell me whatever pathetic thing it is you need to tell me and.." I don't get to finish my sentence. "Well isn't this a new perspective. Me getting to crash your world into the ground." "Two..." Mason sighs. "Rumor has it that I have a new inmate. A pretty famous cyber legend to be more exact." "Mason, the falcon has been in custody for a while. Your news is old, goodbye." I start to hang up, but his next words stop me dead.

"I'm talking about Nolan." When I don't say anything, he continues. "You know your best friend, partner in crime, pain in my ass… ring a bell?" "You're mistaken." I immediately say. I'm pacing faster and farther away from jack than I mean to, it's a nervous habit. "Why would anyone arrest Nolan? He couldn't hurt a fly." "Tell that to the NYPD that just had him incarcerated for, what would you know, taking down a flight…. Flight 197 to be exact?" I hang up the phone with lightning speed. "Nolan's been arr..."

I turn around to find Jack Porter gone...


	2. Chapter 2

"_Amanda! Come on, You know my dad rarely let's me stay over for dinner; if I'm late getting home, I won't get to stay anymore… AMA…." Jack finally spotted her sitting a little ways down the beach. They had been playing tag when Sammy had seen another puppy and chased it a good ways down the beach. Amanda had yelled for Sammy to come back, but it was a lost cause. Jack had laughed it off and promised Amanda he would catch up with Sammy and bring him back. Sammy was unfortunately much quicker than Jack thought. When Jack finally caught Sammy, he walked back with the young dog in his arms to find Amanda gone. At first he thought that she had went into the house for something, but after a few minutes Jack began to worry. He knew Amanda wouldn't leave him on the beach, especially since he was staying over for dinner. Jack started walking in the opposite direction from where Sammy had ran, every once in a while yelling Amanda's name. When Jack finally caught sight of Amanda, he let out a huge sigh of relief and ran toward the girl. "Amanda, didn't you hear me yelling for you?!" Amanda turned around with tears rolling down her eyes. Jack instantly came to a stop. He had only seen Amanda cry one time before, and that was because she had fallen down on the beach and cut her knee open on glass. "Amanda…. What's wrong?" Jack asked, quickly giving her a once over looking for any signs of blood. "I like my house." she said. Jack looked confused, but quietly sat next to her. "Well so do I….but why are you crying." Amanda looked at the huge house in front of her. "The other night, I saw my daddy kiss the woman that lives in this house." Jack looked up at the mansion in front of him. "I don't like her. She only comes over when I'm supposed to be sleeping, but sometimes I just pretend to sleep." "Why don't you like her…?" Jack asked. "Because daddy tries to hide her from me. Every time she comes over, she talks like something bad is gonna happen….Plus what if daddy get's married to her, and then we move…what about…." "Amanda… " Jack interrupted the girl before she got herself too worked up. "Are you sure this isn't about something else?" Jack asked. "What do you mean?" "About a year after my mom left, I walked downstairs late one night, after my bedtime. I found my dad kissing some lady. I was so angry at my dad, I yelled at him and ran back upstairs to my room. When my dad came after me, he told me that just because he was kissing someone else didn't mean she was replacing my mom... but then he told me that he didn't think my mom was gonna come home soon, or maybe not ever..." Amanda looked at Jack with horror on her face. She and Jack had only talked about their moms briefly. He knew her mom was dead, and she knew that his mom had run away. "You don't know that, she might come back!" "Maybe." Jack said. "But my point is, I never saw the woman again. And me, my dad, and Declan still live in that same bar. Just because your dad is kissing her, it doesn't mean he is marrying her or moving into her house…. And it doesn't mean she's your mom either. Even if your dad does like her, she isn't going to take him away from you." Amanda looked back at the big house. A chill ran down her spine."I guess you're right…" Sammy jumped into her lap and made her giggle. "Sammy! No more chasing other puppies, got it?" She playfully asked the dog. Jack jumped up. "Race you back to your house for dinner." "You're on!" Amanda yelled before taking a head start. "Cheater!" Jack yelled before running after her. _

* * *

Jack woke up with a start. The memory was so vivid, it seemed like it had just happened yesterday. As soon as his eyes focused, everything came rushing back to him. His wife was dead. His wife was not Amanda Clarke. Emily Thorne was Amanda Clarke. Declan was dead. He needed a drink. Every day since finding out about Amanda, Jack woke up and had to repeat this information to himself. It still didn't seem real. He didn't even remember his own brother's funeral. Emily…or Amanda had tried to come, but he wouldn't let her into the church. She eventually stopped trying to call him. He had to give it to her though, she was persistent. Two weeks straight and she had called every morning at the same time, even though he hadn't answered once. Jack got up to go check on Carl. He walked over to the crib to see his precious son still sleeping. He had been filled with a lot of guilt these past few weeks. He had almost thrown away the most important thing in the world. If he had shot Conrad he would be in jail right now, and would probably never see his son again. The thought instantly brought tears to his eyes. He had been so selfish, but so angry. And like clock work, his mind was brought back to Emily. She had stopped him from throwing this all away, all the while crashing his world further into the ground. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He dialed her number knowing she would come the second he asked. "Charlotte, listen, do you think you could come over and watch Carl for a little while." At first, he hated to ask her for help, but then he realized it was good for her. It took her mind off of everything. She loved Carl like he was her own. Plus he figured he better take advantage of her help before she left next week. He still wanted to talk to her about that. He wasn't sure that going away was the best idea. "Sure, I'll be over in an hour." Jack figured he would get ready to go out while Carl was still sleeping. It was time to get this conversation over with.

Emily was walking through the empty house slowly. It was perfect for Nolan. "I'll take it." She told the real estate agent. "Perfect Ms. Thorne, I'll get the contract written up and fax it over to you?" "Sounds great." Emily replied. The real estate agent went outside to make a phone call, while Emily smiled at the empty walls. For the first time in a month, she was smiling. She had only been able to talk to Nolan once. But it was enough to give her hope that he would be out of that terrible place soon. The police were finding out who all the real members of the initiative were faster than she could have hoped for. Which meant soon they would have to let Nolan go. Emily's thoughts were interrupted by her phone going off. Pulling the phone out of her bag, she let out a little gasp of surprise. It was a text message…from Jack. She hadn't heard from him since the night he had disappeared while she was on the phone with Mason.

_Meet me on the beach in an hour - Jack _

Emily put her phone back in her purse and walked outside. "Well, I hate to run off, but duty calls. Just forward me the papers to sign." She told the real estate agent. "Okay, Ms. Thorne, and thank you!" Emily got into her car and started driving toward her house, nerves filling her stomach.

* * *

After arriving home and slipping off her shoes, Emily began to make her way to the beach. She stopped halfway when her breath caught in her throat. She thought she would beat him to the beach, but she was wrong. Standing at the edge of the ocean was Jack Porter. He was facing away from her, looking out at the ocean. It was a beautiful sight. Emily swallowed hard as a memory took her over.

"_GOTCHA." Jack shouted as he hit Amanda in the back with his water gun. Amanda screeched as she turned around. Jack had snuck up on her while she was standing with her toes in the water, looking out at the ocean. She had been lost in deep thought, but it quickly dissipated when Jack had shot her with freezing water. She picked her water gun up laughing before chasing him in circles, squirting him with water repeatedly. _

Emily arrived next to Jack. "I never took the time to see just how beautiful it is here." Jack said. Emily looked out toward the ocean. "Yeah, it's my favorite place in the entire world." Jack half smiled. "I know." Just as soon as the smile had come, it was gone. "Emily…." Jack sighed. "I don't even know what to call you actually." "Emily's fine." she replied quietly. Jack looked at her for the first time in a month. She looked tired, but still as beautiful as always. He couldn't help but to notice the dark circles under her eyes, and Jack hated the way his heart instantly filled with worry. "How's Carl?" Emily said. Hoping to delay the conversation that needed to happen. Jack's face lit up a little at the mention of his son's name. "He's good. He's into everything, but he's good." Emily smiled at hearing this. "Listen Jack…" "No, me first." Jack interrupted her. "I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. And I want you to know something. I was really lost at first. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was going on with you. Then one morning Carl looked at me and just smiled. For no other reason than the fact that I was looking at him. And in that moment I realized just how much he loved me, how much I loved my own father…" Emily looked down at this. That was one of the biggest regrets. She had wanted to be there for Jack so badly when his father passed away, but she couldn't. Not the way she wanted to be. "Carl would have never forgiven me if I had gotten myself locked up, only to leave him as an orphan. But more than that... he would have never forgiven the Grayson's for what they had done to our family. I didn't want him growing up with that kind of resentment, that kind of hatred." Emily had to look in the other direction. "I think that's when I figured it out. Why you are doing this. I'm right aren't I?" Emily looked back at Jack with tears in her eyes. "I understand anger, Emily. I understand hatred, and I understand loss. What I don't understand, is why you thought you couldn't trust me." Emily immediately feels her heart break. "I do trust you Jack! I just.." "No you clearly don't." Jack interrupts her. "Because if you trusted me, you would have told me who you really were! Maybe not right away. But surely after we got to know each other again. If you trusted me, you wouldn't have lied to me for so long. You would have told me the truth, the second you saw my world crashing to the ground!" Emily feels the tears pouring out of her eyes now, and there is nothing she can do to hide them. Jack is ripping her apart from the inside and it's going to kill her. "It's because I CARE about you Jack! Don't you see?! I didn't want you involved in any of this! I didn't want you to get hurt!" Emily cried. "Well I think, it's a little too late for that, don't you?" Jack said. "If you really cared about me, you would have told me the truth. You wouldn't have let me fall in love with someone claiming to be you. You wouldn't have let me think that my best friend had been murdered on a boat and was six feet under. I mean I was married to someone that I have a child with, and I don't even know her NAME." Jack yelled. "Emily…" Emily whispered. "What?" Jack said angry and confused. "Her name was Emily…. Emily Thorne. We switched identities when we were in juvy together…" Jack lets out a sarcastic laugh. "Of course you did. Let me guess whose idea that was." Emily finally snaps. "Look Jack, I know you're angry. But I loved Amanda. She was my best friend, and I know she loved you. Don't downplay your relationship with her, because it was real..." Jack feels tears come to his eyes, but quickly looks away. Emily can tell Jack needs his space and begins speaking softly. "I know you hate me, but I swear to you. I never wanted you to get hurt in all of this. And when you're ready, I promise, I'll tell you whatever you need to know. And if you never want to speak to me again…I understand. Just please know how sorry I am…." Emily begins to walk back to the beach house, and Jack Porter stands facing the ocean with tears streaming down his face.


End file.
